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How do you show love to an adult child with oppositional defiant disorder?
My adult child has ODD, and has always pushed us away when we got physically or emotionally close, and has rejected offers of financial help. Now, this child claims we haven't ever shown our love. What can we possibly do if we are yelled at, pushed away, and rejected when we try to express our love and support?
The manipulations are attempts to validate their self-view. They will not respect you if you engage them and respond to what they claim are thier needs. You need to be the parent, and inform them of what they need. They will fight you tooth and nail, but they will respect you more. And they do listen. The benefit is that they will be like this regarding peers as well, so theoretically they will not be easily swayed by peer pressure.
Its something.
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